My Life Would Suck Without You

hmm, the truth is hiding in your eyes, when you says you love me. it's just that i make a lot of mistakes towards you and seriously i dont know how to turn back. another problem fix and another problem come. it just sucks and i cant live with this. my PMR is around the corner and i dont know if i can make it or not i mean, straight A? are you seriously ? with my tons problem i dont think i can make it out. i am thiking of runaway but it wont give me peace as i wanted for. hm, i seriously i big dilemma and karma. in january to may time, i full with colors and bright shine but from june onwards my life filler with dull colors. my shine alreadly dimms. i dont know what the hell wrong with me. she didnt give a damn to me to trust me anymore. ahh, shit. and futher , entah lah. it's to hard to describe. i dont have a life now. it's hard. it's like you are forcing to eat trantula or sort of that. i just want pmr to be over. please time be fast. god, i am sorry for what i have done. please give me peace now. i dont know what to do. i have been forgetting you lately and i seriously need your help now. you are my god, you know what inside me, what the best for me. please. please . please. show the right way for me. amin. mothers,fathers, hmm, i am so damn sorry (!) please forgive me. my heart is like a bomb now. i promise i will done well in my pmr. i want to be free again. i am falling apart. into small pieces that cannot be in one piece again.
p/s: when you said i was sleeping, it wasnt true. i was not sleeping, i am waiting for die. i couldnt take it anymore.
xo,jo.

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